Nayvin wrote in the "hi" thread: "I think this tribes' ideal get fully realized at the annual EmoTaz. How did that go this last time, eric?How did that go this last time, eric?"

EmoTAZ is a men's retreat but the EmoTribe includes men and women, and except for EmoCamp at Burning Man 2003, we haven't had a major EmoTribe event. In some ways, the EmoTribe idea is expressed at regional events, like Burners in the Forest, a wilderness retreat in July near Squamish, BC, and at other events like Critical Mass, where we camped with the Naughty Cowgirls last year. We'll be doing that again this June at Lake Bronson Nudist Resort in Washington State.

The interesting thing about the EmoMen idea is that it seems to have improved relationships a lot of the men have with women. One woman thanked me recently for the emotional growth her boyfriend has gone through and the benefit his participation has had to their relationship. It was an unexpected outcome. Another outcome is that some of the gay men seem to have become much more open to exploring levels of intimacy with women. It's simple, really, and that is that if straight men can discover certain forms of intimacy with other men, and that all men can learn that intimacy doesn't equal genital contact, then gay men also have an opportunity to realize that degrees of intimacy with women are possible for them.

One thing I've been thinking about is doing an "Intimacy Boundary Discovery" workshop at Lake Bronson. I developed the workshop idea last year and delivered it at EmoTAZ. With a group of men of various orientations, it seemed to produce some major results. The idea was not to blow boundaries away, but simply to discovery where they were. Often we aren't sure until we bump into them. The workshop gave an opportunity to explore our own ideas about various forms of intimacy, and to discover our boundaries in order to look at them and think about what purpose they serve. Some boundaries are rational and others irrational. Some protect an arbitrary sense of self that doesn't necessarily align with who we are, but come from past emotional wounds. Some rightfully protect our physical body.

Boundaries define us, but sometimes they rule us without considering whether they are appropriate. Boundaries don't form hard lines, but gray bands, and they hurt when we hit them. One very interesting thing I discovered is that the usual reactions of anxiety on approach, to rage on breach is also sometimes accompanied by hallucination. It was very interesting to discover that when boundaries are approached, people sometimes see, feel and hear things that aren't present.

I've been thinking about delivering this workshop to couples. The fascinating thing about that is that couples usually assume that they share common boundaries, but because we ourselves don't always know where they are until they are approached, there is a lot of incomplete communication. This is a very common source of upset for couples, and a workshop to discover those boundaries, with a lot of extra work around communication between couples through the workshop could be very healing.

What are your thoughts?